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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922539">Moonshine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeon_Wonderer/pseuds/Pigeon_Wonderer'>Pigeon_Wonderer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Character Analysis, Character Study, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Luther Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Mentioned Allison Hargreeves, Mentioned Reginald Hargreeves, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, My First Work in This Fandom, Sad Luther Hargreeves, Short One Shot, Whump</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:00:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>436</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25922539</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pigeon_Wonderer/pseuds/Pigeon_Wonderer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day after day, second after second, you rip and harm the skin that if people would see they would call you a monster.<br/>You know you are a monster.<br/>And even if you want to believe this will help you, it won't.<br/>You'll always be this.</p><p>.......... </p><p>Or: Luther reflects about his body and life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Moonshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is set at the end of episode three in the second season, but there aren't any obvious spoilers ^^, having said that, have a good read!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Imagine waking up in a body that you don't recognize.<br/>You know it's your body, but something doesn't feel right.<br/>Why did something like this happen?<br/>It doesn't matter how it happened, or why.<br/>The thing that matters now is that everytime you look at yourself you don't see you.<br/>You see a monster.</p><p>You want to get rid of it.<br/>But it's your body, so you can't.<br/>There must be something, anything, you can do.<br/>You think about something.<br/>It'll help.<br/>It doesn't matter how much it hurts, or how after doing it nothing changes, and you just feel more pain.<br/>It doesn't matter, because even if it's just some seconds, it'll help you.<br/>You rip your skin off.</p><p>But it's not enough.</p><p>You do it again.</p><p>But nothing changes.<br/>Why?<br/>Maybe you're doing it wrong.<br/>Of course one time is not enough.<br/>You rip another piece of that monstrous skin that once was your body.<br/>Your true body.</p><p>Nothing changes.</p><p>Why?</p><p>Why?!</p><p>It's fine.<br/>You'll do it again and again until there's no more skin to rip.</p><p>It's like training with Dad.<br/>Doing something once is not enough for it to be perfect.<br/>You have to continue doing it.<br/>So you do.<br/>Day after day, second after second, you rip and harm the skin that if people would see they would call you a monster.<br/>You know you are a monster.<br/>And even if you want to believe this will help you, it won't.<br/>You'll always be this. </p><p>A monster. A creature. </p><p>No human being would call you beautiful. <br/>No being would like to lay it's eyes upon you. <br/>And you don't either. <br/>Now everytime you look at yourself it's just torture. <br/>There's nothing you can do<br/>There's nothing anyone can do. </p><p>Sometimes you wonder if you should hate Dad. <br/>But you know the only one to blame is you. <br/>You could have done better. <br/>If you were better.... <br/>If you were better you wouldn't be ripping off your skin at this very second. <br/>If you were better maybe she wouldn't have married. <br/>You look at the moon while you fall. <br/>You remember you're not there anymore. <br/>You aren't ripping your skin off. <br/>But suddenly you want to. <br/>Your body is bloody and you're sure there are many broken bones. <br/>But it's not enough. </p><p>You're on the floor, still looking at the moon. <br/>You wonder if saving the world from the apocalypse was even worth it. <br/>You don't know. You crave death. <br/>You crave pain. <br/>You don't know when this is ending. <br/>But there's something you know. <br/>You don't want to exist any longer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! </p><p>This is my first work for this fandom, and English is not my first language, so it may have some gramatical errors '^^<br/> Although I wasn't sure if to post it or not, I realized there's not a lot of Luther content out there, so here it is ^w^</p><p>I hoped you enjoyed this small piece of writing!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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